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2 Luke: An Epistle to THE HAPPY CHURCH in Exeter

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The Apostle Luke deals with a suspected heretic...

Luke, called to be a disciple of Christ Jesus, by the will of God, through being sent up to the highlands of Sheffield and South Yorkshire some months ago, and our brother Drew and sister Charly,

To THE HAPPY CHURCH of God in Exeter, and those that journey up the steep ‘Cardiac Hill’ every week and who call on the name of Goodbody for wise teaching.

Grace and Peace to you.

I thank God for your endurance each week (torrential Exeter rain notwithstanding) in your arduous and ongoing work in bringing the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ to the heathen and the worshipers of lash in the City of Exeter, especially to those attending ‘possibly the best university in the world’ in said city. It is good that you continue in this work, eagerly encouraged by the words of Harris, Burnside, Arscott and the others. You will not lack for good teaching , and I am confident you will gain understanding of the unique ‘start every sermon with a question’ technique which has stood so many of us in good stead at St Leonard’s.

However, I have heard of some dissent amongst you, about what to do with the problem known as ‘Network’ (known affectionately by the zealots as ‘Not-work’). I hear that some have even suggested that THE HAPPY CHURCH take up the trendy sport of ‘Ultimate Frisbee’ every Sunday morning as a means of competing for student attendees at services. Do you not remember the teaching we gave you only a year ago?

N.B. Network Church: We are called to take up our crosses, not surfboards (Luke 9:23)

Apparently some say, “I follow the way of the surf”, and others say “I follow the way of the 9.30 AND 6.30 thorough exposition of Romans”. Were we ever divided? Did we ever waver and go the way of Newquay and a questionable understanding of the biblical workings of Spiritual gifts? No we did not. There is no other way, but that of the bible, and that of the THE HAPPY CHURCH/Leonards/Belmont/NFI collective.

Some demand an authority of Experience and Institution, and others seek the Reason of other men, but we preach the authority of the Bible as one above the three others as they are but opinions of men.

Do you not remember the time we spent with you? Every new academic year without fail (well almost) we travelled, and collected groups of shepherd-less Freshers from the gates of the University Great Hall by bold proclamation of a bible teaching, bible believing, God fearing church, that the true sheep amongst them heard the call of and followed. Do you not remember how they followed us, many miles from their halls of residences, over hills, through council estates, and past the temptations of multiple Wetherspoons outlets, before they were faced with the final great trial known as ‘crossing

The Happy Church Freshers: Before heresy and graduate schemes caused them to stray...

Topsham road without using the lights’? Did not many follow and hear the word taught well? These brothers, these are the Fresh that you should be focusing your attentions on come the next day of selection at the great hall, for it is they who will withstand the attacks of the evil one until the final day, and it is they who will help build THE HAPPY CHURCH into a church that is even greater than the one which the Vatican controls (whilst remaining paedophile free).

Grace be with you.

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Written by thehappychurch

June 21, 2010 at 10:06 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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