Thehappychurch's Blog

At THE HAPPY CHURCH, we feel that it is important to highlight the less-trumpeted ministries that go on in the church and behind-the-scenes. Jesus described his followers as “the light of the world” (Matt. 4:14), and reminded us that people “do not light a lamp and put it under a bowl” (Matt. 5:15). The LOOKING AT series will make sure none of our staff are under bowls.

Today we will be looking at our Street Pastorz…

The Rector in Street Pastorz apparel

“More Street, than Pastorz”

The Street Pastorz is an initiative that grew out of a deep love for our community and 50 Cent. Inspired by the Biblical imperative of Matthew 5:16 and having watched seasons 1-5 of The Wire, THE HAPPY CHURCH Street Pastorz Scheme was born.

The aim of Street Pastoring is fivefold:

Street Pastorz make the police's job just that little bit less stressful!

- To be a visible Christian presence on the streets on the hours when nightclubs clear-out

- Using the Christ-centred message of gangsta rap as a means of evangelism

- To provide support for Police and CSOs

- To make sure revellers get home safely

- To go onto the streets and witness to revellers about the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Ready to shank fools and save souls...

Street Pastor with decoy 'woman'.

In the Wesleyan tradition, we go out every Friday and Saturday night, dressed in bling and other assorted urban attire, in groups of four with one attractive woman allotted to each group. Whilst the men get on with the important job of labouring for the Gospel, the women are used either as bait or decoys. Jesus taught us to be fishers of men, and at THE HAPPY CHURCH we have found the most effective lure to be 36DDs.

Street Pastorz seek to engage with locals and through our Christ-centred witness, point them towards a life-changing, saving faith through knowing Jesus Christ. Once we have a captive audience, we frequently employ battle-freestyle techniques as exhibited by Eminem in ‘8 Mile’ to explain the Gospel message. If this doesn’t win the crowd over, we then try and explain the Gospel message with interpretive break-dancing which look EXACTLY like this.

Occasionally, Street Pastorz face objections to the Christian message. This can be anything from people politely declining, to more extreme cases where they insult our mums (The latter event saw the Head Deacon’s mother coming to Exeter to comfort her beloved son and instigate what is only spoken of in hushed-tones as ‘Black Death Saturday’). In the rare event that things turn physical, months spent watching Songs of Praise means we are more than capable of dishing-out tough “street justice”.

To volunteer to be a Street Pastor, you will need to agree to our Doctrinal Basis and then pay £30. This covers the cost of training which includes:

-         Battle freestyle lessons

-         A Street Pastorz hoodie

-         Standard issue bling; A doctrinally-sound chain with Reformed Lutheran cross emblem

-         Jay-Z’s ‘The Blueprint’ album and John Stott’s ‘The Cross of Christ’

If you are interested please contact THE HAPPY CHURCH here.

The Bishop drags a reprobate through the streets.

Street justice - Anglican style.