It was 10AM, we were starving. Naturally, we decided to start a church…
After a messy night aboard the lash-train, New Years Day 2010 saw the birth of THE HAPPY CHURCH (“Paedophile free since 2010″)
It is a cessationist, High Anglican church, which holds Charismatic services when Jonny’s Mum visits. It is KJV-only and services are taken from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer with supplementary readings from Romans. Congregants take Communion at every service (Ribena provided if you are a visiting Methodist or diabetic).
Worship takes the form of Hymns. Specifically; ‘In Christ Alone’, ‘Before The Throne of God Above’ (line 7 omitted due to theological inaccuracies), ‘Abide with Me’, ‘Be Thou My Vision’ and ‘An Can it Be’.
Whilst THE HAPPY CHURCH does not encourage infant baptism or exorcism, we are willing to perform them (at the same time) on request. Attendees of our weekly Bible study classes can expect to be segregated by gender with opportunities for sharking provided afterwards over a glass of watered-down squash.
THE HAPPY CHURCH welcomes all unless you are poor.
No CRB check, no entry.
Lash. Bolt. Heresy. ERROR
Mandem.
THE HAPPY CHURCH staff (Back, from left to right) are: Joee Townsend (Webmaster), Jonny Rose (Head Deacon), Dave Hargrave (Worship Leader), Andy Larkin (Apostolic Father/Bishop), John Rochfort (Curate). (Front, from left to right) Luke Denby-Hollis (Greeter/ Heresy Police), Sarah Morris (Women & Children’s Minister), Davee Beadle (Rector).
My word. This is what happens when you don’t get enough sleep… Need any chair stackers?
Chris Tilt
January 27, 2010 at 10:40 am
That right there is a group of the best looking Christians I’ve seen in a while
Mim
February 25, 2010 at 8:53 pm
[...] 5:38 -39 sums up THE HAPPY CHURCH’s story better than we ever could. When we started out as a sleep-deprived band of evangelicals on a cold New Years day in Westherspoon’s, who knew our church would end up hyper-linked on a rarely-visited political website or be [...]
Event: Celebrating three months of THE HAPPY CHURCH « Thehappychurch's Blog
March 8, 2010 at 11:44 am